CraZ Mom of 12

New Kitties

2012-01-14T13:53:00.000-07:00

Our exciting news this past week is that Topaz had her kittens, late on the day she was due (8th). We ended up with 3 Even though cats usually like to hide and be alone when they deliver, she kept calling me, so I sat in the laundry room with her and saw all of them born. I hoped for a couple more, but three is fun. They are all still white--their ears and noses are just barely starting to get some color. It will be fun to see what color they end up. We have two boys and a girl.

Happy New Year!

2012-01-03T11:39:00.000-07:00

We survived the holidays! Actually, it was much better than I had hoped for. One little man behaved pretty good and didn't ruin things for everyone. As you can imagine, there are always a few bumps along the way with 7 kids at home, but it was pretty nice. Kevin had work off all but one day between Christmas and New Years, so that was wonderful.

We had a nice, simple Christmas. I am happy with our Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh Chrtistmas. Gold is a gift of something you really want. Santa usually brings that one. Frankincense is something you need and Myrrh is something to enrich your soul. For some of our children, that was kind of hard...something that would enrich their souls that they would want and use. I think some of them wished they got something else, but it was very simple and not overwhelming. Lots of family time.

As the new year begins, I reflect on my many blessings. I have been truly blessed. I am so grateful that Heavenly Father has watched over me and my family. I also am reminded of the many things I STILL (yes, still) need to work on. My list of resolutions is simple---it hasn't changed much over the last 30 years. I either have too many distractions or just not committed enough or something. I need to read my scriptures daily, pray twice daily, FHE, temple attendance up, Family scriptures and prayers. See, nothing new. I just don't have it down yet.

Our cat, Topaz, is going to have kittens this week. That should be fun. I hope a nice twist from puppies. We are going to tile the laundry room, but didn't get to it while Kevin was home, so we just pulled the carpet and painted the floor. It will be fun to see the cute little kitties!

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-13T10:35:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's almost Christmas again! This year has gone by so fast. Even though it has been a year of a lot of struggles, it has been a good year. We have been blessed with so many things. I love to listen to Christmas music--at least MY favorite Christmas music. I think I could do without about half of the songs that are played on the radio. I often find myself tearing up as I spend all this time driving that I seem to have gotten myself into lately. It's wonderful to feel the spirit of our Savior so abundantly this time of year.

I wanted to share a video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FSQuHDIsVw&feature=share

I hope this year I can give more to my children...more hugs, more time, more inspiration, more encouragement. I hope I can give more support to friends and family. I hope I can give more time to my Savior--more time to prayers, scriptures and temple service. I hope I can be more in tune with the spirit and more able and willing to follow the inspiration He gives.

Merry Christmas!

Happy Thanksgiving

2011-11-24T11:34:00.000-07:00

This Thanksgiving, I am very grateful for many things. I have a wonderful husband, great children and son-in-laws, beautiful granddaughters. I have a home, Kevin has a job, I have good friends. I am in relative good health (although I have been diagnosed with diabetes and high cholesterol in the past few weeks). The therapy for my plantar faciaitis is working and my feet feel much better.

I am grateful for my testimony of Jesus Christ and His restored church. I am grateful I can rely on the spirit to help me through each day, even when I'm not so 'helpable'. I am grateful for the priesthood and how it blesses my life. I am grateful my children have been sealed to us in the temple. I am grateful for the Lord's 'tender mercies' in my life--and there are many. I am grateful for the atonement--that I can be forgiven of all my stupid choices and healed from all my pains--physical, emotional and spiritual. I am grateful for that opportunity for my family, as well, as there is great need for that.

I am grateful for a handy husband who has taught my kids how to work. The boys have been able to get some things done around the house that Kevin doesn't have time for with his job and military commitments.

My heart is overflowing with gratitude. I hope I can express that to my family well. And I hope they can feel it to their core and that they can also recognize the Lord's many blessings in their own life and feel the joy that I am able to feel.

We are facing some very difficult decisions in our life. I am so grateful we don't have to decide on our own. I am grateful I can ask for and receive help from our Heavenly Father and know His will concerning things in our lives.

Another Safety Tip

2011-11-08T12:02:00.000-07:00

Labeling this a "weekly safety tip" was very bad. We shall call it the "occasional safety tip", Then I won't be a liar.

I heard this past week that the "stranger danger" campaign of several years ago backfired. There is a large percent of abductors and abusers that are well-known to the child. When they started teaching to beware of strangers and that people you know are safe, and that didn't really prevent anything. True, a stranger may try to abduct your child, but it's more likely to be someone they know.

A few weeks back, there was an attempted abduction of an 11 year old girl only about 6 blocks from our house. Her mom had taught her what to do, if anything like that happened. She kicked and screamed and got away. http://www.ksl.com/?nid=960&sid=17629026

Here's some websites talking about teaching your kids:

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/child_abuse_physical_emotional_sexual_neglect.htm
http://www.parenthood.com/article-topics/beyond_stranger_danger_teaching_kids_how_to_avoid_abduction.html
http://www.parenthood.com/article-topics/teaching_kids_how_to_avoid_abduction.html/full-view
http://factoidz.com/how-to-teach-your-children-to-avoid-abduction-or-other-childhood-dangers/
http://www.theparentszone.com/parenting-tips/teach-your-child-what-to-do-to-avoid-abduction/

Back to school

2011-10-20T10:33:00.000-06:00

I started back to school on October 3rd. I ordered books on October 3rd because I wasn't sure funding was coming through. I was in such a hurry to order them, that I didn't check "rush shipping". It took me almost 2 weeks to get all but one book. I am still waiting for that book. Fortunately, it is on Kindle and I bought it again so I could do my homework. I hope I can return that book.

It's been a big adjustment. I quit my job, that I kind of miss. I enjoyed sitting in court for the most part. I have had so many errands to run, with the flexibility of not having to do it after work, that I have had a hard time getting homework done. I am still not sure I want to do homework. I plan to get my degree, but I don't want a paralegal job doing research. I think I'd like to just be a legal assistance/secretary, but I can't find an online school I can afford to get that degree and still qualify for the housing assistance the GI bill offers. That is the main reason I went back to school and quit work. The housing assistance is 3 times what I made at work and school is free.

We have been busy! We removed the huge flower garden we put in at our old house in Cedar Hills. We have it rented and it's hard for the renters to keep up with. We also removed all the roses along the sidewalk that bite the passers-by. It took us most of the day last Saturday. We left a much smaller flowerbed and put sod in everywhere else. It looks pretty good! Now we are redo-ing the flowerbed at our house that is full of grass. Michael is working hard on it!

General conference

2011-10-02T16:47:00.000-06:00

I enjoyed listening to conference this weekend! We have had such a long, busy, late week, we all slept in till 10:15 this morning. Good thing we have DVR. We were able to get everyone up and rewind to the beginning. I am saddened at Elder Packer and Elder Hales' health, but their messages are wonderful. I look forward to reading them and rewatching them for FHE over the next 6 months.

I start school on Monday. I don't know if I'm looking forward to it or not. I work for a couple more days, too. I have been waiting for a link to be able to log-in on the school site and order books and the email never came...so I don't have books. This could be fun. The week screamed by and I didn't realize that I ran out of time to get them. I am looking forward to a little more time at home. I will miss work. I really enjoyed my job. I will be going to school on Tuesday evenings, which is going to be a bit of an issue with Caleb and someone to watch him...But Heavenly Father will help out!

Tip of the Week

2011-09-22T16:33:00.003-06:00

I thought I would start doing a Tip of the Week. I honestly don't know if anyone reads this, so I don't know if it is going to help anyone or not, but here goes...

Whenever you go on an outing with your kids--even to the grocery store, take a picture of them as you get in or out of the car so you know what they are wearing if they get lost.

A couple more tidbits:
"A sweet and obedient child will only enroll a father or a mother in Parenting 101. If you are blessed with a child who tests your patience to the nth degree, you will be enrolled in Parenting 505. Rather than wonder what you might have done wrong in the premortal life to be so deserving, you might consider the more challenging child a blessing and opportunity to become more Christlike yourself." (maybe we have graduated to Parenting 1050 or something???)

Note to self: A bi-polar child will be a bi-polar child. To expect anything different will drive you insane [quicker]. A child that is emotionally "2" will ACT "2".

Another note to self: Pray really hard every night and all day that angels will guard your son's window so he doesn't open it (again) and go on the roof (again) and sneak through his sister's window (again) so he can get out of his room without setting off the alarm. (besides ANGELS, I have NO idea how to keep this child safe from himself!)I need super high-tech security to contain this child. Since there doesn't seem to be anything--at least that I can afford--I need to call on the higher Powers to intervene--and be in tune enough with the spirit so I KNOW when he is up to something.

A Day of Remembrance

2011-09-10T00:05:00.000-06:00

10 years ago on September 11th, I was getting out of the shower when Kevin came in and told me about the attack on the towers. I didn't even know those towers existed until that moment in time. I remember the fear I felt, wondering how far the attacks would go...would my children be safe at school? Would they attack schools, would there be all out attacks all across the country? I grieve for those family members who lost loved ones that day. I admire the bravery, courage and good Samaritans that let their light shine that day--whether they went to their Heavenly Home that day or survived. I hope on Sunday, we all Remember. I hope we realize again how fragile life is, how the actions of a few impact so many lives. I hope we will Remember our loving Heavenly Father watches over all of us and that He has a plan that won't be thwarted. I hope as I remember, my patriotism will grow and that I will remember things that make me proud of my country and the people here. There are so many things lately to not be proud of--but we are still a country watched over by our Heavenly Father.

I pray that the Second Coming will come soon. There is so much evil in the world. There is also so much good. I look forward to more peace on the earth. I look forward to not worrying if my kids are going to have a run-in with drugs today (yes, here in Utah). I would love to raise my kids in a Terrestial world, not a Telestial world.

At my job, I sit in court and watch my own realization of the Savior’s love grow. He loves every one of those people I see every day. The ones that have been struggling with drugs or alcohol for most of their lives, the ones with mental illness, the ones that look like toothpicks, the ones struggling with weight issues, the ones driving on suspension for the 5th time. The ones going to jail for the 10th time and the ones who got caught going 9 over the speed limit. The ones that hurt another of His children. Everyone is beautiful in His eyes and everyone is loved by Him, cherished by Him. I have been able to develop more love for others, more tolerance and acceptance. I see through new eyes.

I hope we can all Remember our Savior. I hope we can Remember the goodness of people that are willing to sacrifice for each other and help each other and risk their own lives to do so. I hope Sunday, as I watch programs designed to help me remember and help me honor those who sacrificed so much, that I will Remember. I love our country. I love the gospel. I love my family. I am so grateful for a loving Father in Heaven that looks past my weaknesses and short-comings and accepts me as I am and encourages me to be better.

Packer Family Reunion

2011-08-06T18:18:00.000-06:00

This weekend we had our Packer Family reunion...family from my mom's parents on down. It was great to see cousins and their families that I haven't seen in many, many years, many of which it took a minute to figure out who they were. It was so great to have all 11 (okay 12--Ammon was probably there, too) of my children there and all my grandchildren! I think I was the only grandchild there that had married children that had all of them there. Unfortunately, all my cousins couldn't make it! It would have been great to have the other 20-some-odd others there to finish it up! And of course, Kevin. He was at drill in Washington. It was fun to see the cousins and kids mingle and get to know each other, to see the little ones playing together. I'm sure my grandparents were pleased with the results of the reunion. I hope we do it again, although my mom says she won't be planning it next time. I am so glad she did this time! It was great!

I was able to talk to my brothers that have older kids about having our 12 and up kids do family names for baptism for the dead soon so we can get this batch of names done! Then to schedule a sealing session for all of us siblings to get together and do them!

I learned a lot about my grandparents and great grandparents from my Uncle Steve. I didn't get a CD, so I am going to have to copy my mom's. He did a great job. One thing that's been on my bucket list is to go to Germany and England and see family sites. I think I will need someone with me that speaks German when I go to Germany so I can get the most out of the trip. Wish my Uncle could go with me!

Can I be an Oyster?

2011-06-05T11:41:00.002-06:00

The past several days have been full of irritations...as I am sure many of my children could attest to based on my shortness in my interactions with them. As I was feeling that I didn't have a sane, calm, kind shred of myself left, I read a great post from a fellow blogger. I spent 4 hours playing majong last night, avoiding interactions of any human kind--trying to, at least. There were a few "little" intrusions, including some negative interactions on an innocent error on an ebay sale. It's amazing how Satan can worm his way into our thoughts and feelings. Feelings of worthlessness and helplessness that were beyond anything I have ever felt in my life crept in. After some praying and sleeping, I awoke feeling mostly better. At least I felt like it was still worth the fight.

So, can I make the constant irritations in my life--like 3 beautiful little ones that refuse to listen to me, into a pearl?

I don't understand why praying and scripture study need to be a battle every day! It's not difficult, doesn't take a great deal of time. It's the little, thin threads that give us strength over time--and sometimes immediately. And over time, if you don't do it, your rope or net or whatever you imagine it as, can get precariously thin. I am so grateful for repentance and renewal and forgiveness. I am grateful for the love and nurturing Heavenly Father and Savior that we all have. I so often feel that the experiences that should be strengthening me are weakening me--and it surely isn't their fault! It's time to not just survive, but thrive. I feel like I have been in survival mode far too long, but felt I didn't have the strength to do anything else. There have been deep cuts and slow, steady wearing away of my rope and it is need of immediate, steadfast repair.

Here's something I wrote over 25 years ago: "I can not fail, for the price to pay would be much greater than the price I must pay to succeed."

More inspirational thoughts:
Never, never, never quit. Winston Churchill

Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which have been overcome while trying to succeed. Booker T. Washington

Loving the Lord with all one’s heart requires consecration, not tithing. Rodney Turner

The road to success is not straight. There is a curve called Failure, a loop called Confusion, speed bumps called Friends, red lights called Enemies, and caution lights called Family. You will have flats called Jobs. But, if you have a spare tire called Determination, an engine called Perseverance, insurance called Faith, and a driver called Jesus, you will make it to a place named Success.

“In all of living have much fun and laughter. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured” – Gordon B. Hinckley.

"Don't be discouraged at seemingly overwhelming odds in your desire to live and to help others live God's commandments. At times it may seem like David trying to fight Goliath. But remember, David did win." —Elder David B. Haight

Life never slows down...

2011-06-04T01:43:00.001-06:00

I should know better by now to think that things will ever slow down, get easier or go smoothly...

Summer has now blessed us with its appearance. We have been very lucky, of sorts, to not need our air conditioner yet. Last year it had sucked well over $100 through our fingers by this time. Although, I have a feeling we will be using it soon! Kevin has 3 1/2 weeks of AT (Annual Training) and I am not looking forward to parenting on my own again! I hope he will be home in time for Lincoln's (Devon's new baby due in July) welcome to the world...if he's not off for drill again when she is born!

The younger kids had a poem recitation today.

We did a meds change for Caleb that was getting a bit overwhelming. We are now back on some of the old ones and things have calmed down comparatively speaking...as if there is ever a "calm" day in his little life. You feel so bad for him with all this emotion welling up that he doesn't really have the ability to handle appropriately. I imagine that it is scary for him at times...I know it is for me and everyone else that lives here!

Jared is finishing up his finals and Ashlyn is done with school and has stepped up to help Devon, who is now kind of on bedrest for probably the remainder of her pregnancy. Please keep her in your prayers. She can use all the little blessings she can get. Rachel, Caleb and Bekkah will be in school all summer, regular schedule. They get a week off the end of July. This is great for Ashlyn and Jared who will have some time without the little kids, as I will still be working!

That reminds me...."little kids." You know, we used to call Caren, Kristi and Keith (my younger sibling group several years younger than my youngest biological brother) the "little kids". Even though they all have kids of their own now, sometimes I find myself referring to them still as "the little kids" in some conversations. How weird. I wonder if I will do that with these kids when they are parents and I am OLD? If Ammon was still here, there wouldn't be a big gap (4 yrs) between Ashlyn and Rachel and maybe they wouldn't seem like the "littles". Our older kids were so close together, that I find myself calling them the "big kids". So what do you call the kids in the middle? And then, President Benson is known to have made a comment about "kids" being goats and that children of our Heavenly Father shouldn't be referred to as such. But "little children" and "big children" just don't have the same feeling...sounds weird. But I have been greatly blessed with 12 children. They are fun when they aren't challenging and the adults have turned out quite well, if I say so myself.

We celebrated Chantell's birthday, Memorial Day and Father's Day last weekend.

I have been reading like crazy at work. When you sit in court for hours, and many of the cases have nothing to do with what you are there for, you need something. I do have to pay attention, though, so when it is a case I need to pay attention to, I don't miss anything. I have been reading books by Jane Austen. I am starting my third. It took me half way through Pride and Prejudice to be able to actually read a page or paragraph once and understand what I was reading. Occasionally I still need to reread something to make sure I understood what she was saying. I know today in England there are many different phrases than we use here---as we don't "speak" English, we speak "American" :). But it really is different! I decided I'd better read them all consecutively so I don't have to get used to the writing again after reading something more modern. I really am enjoying it, though! Brings me closer to my English roots.

Biting off more than you can chew

2011-04-12T16:40:00.000-06:00

I saw a funny story today about a catfish that bit a basketball. It was stuck in his mouth...

A guy who lives at Lake Conroe (50 miles north of Houston ) saw a ball bouncing
around kind of strange in the lake and went to investigate.
It turned out to be a flathead catfish that had apparently tried to swallow a basketball
which became stuck in its mouth!!
The fish was totally exhausted from trying to
dive, but unable to, because the ball would always
bring him back up to the surface.
The guy tried numerous times to get the ball out,
but was unsuccessful. He finally had his wife cut
the ball in order to deflate it and release the hungry catfish.
You probably wouldn't have believed this, if
you hadn't seen the following pictures:

Be kinder than necessary because everyone bites off more than they can chew
sometime in life...

I am feeling very much like that. I feel that I have bitten off more than I can chew with my youngest kids. I am so tired. I wish I could freeze time and sleep for a couple days. But, alas, there is no rest for the weary and we must just plug along. Sometimes I think I would be a better mom if I could just have some time to step back and regroup. The only comfort is that Heavenly Father knows me and my husband and my children. He is very aware of us. I am doing the best I can to stay afloat and be the best mom I can be, although I see miles of lacking each day. Some day He will make it all right and heal my poor kids suffering through my inadequate mom syndrome. Will someone please pop my basketball?

Growing in faith

2011-03-20T11:09:00.000-06:00

I have been feeling sorry for myself lately. Life is hard and we are adjusting to new changes at home. I have started a job, so I am getting used to doing things differently. I don't have as much time at home to do things while the kids are at school. Rachel and Bekkah are getting used to going to Montessori for school. Kevin has been gone a lot. Caleb's meds aren't working too well, so we are all dealing with his emotional upheaval. Thursday at Rachel's therapy, the counselor reminded me that I am just "baby proofing" my home. When you have a baby starting to be mobile, and then walking, you baby-proof your home to keep the baby and the things safe. I have 3 children that are still emotionally about 2 and don't have the impulse control of children their chronological ages. I have to lock everything up in my home to keep my children and things safe and healthy. Because they are 9, 7 and 5, the baby-proofing is a bit more severe. And yes, it is driving me crazy to live in a home where everything is locked up. I guess it's just way it is. I hope some day they will be able to get their brains functioning to a point where we will not have to lock it all up. I have been frustrated because I feel I need to give them opportunities to develop the ability to follow "if it's not yours, don't touch it," but the therapist reminded me that they just aren't capable at the moment. It's better to just have it not accessible.

I was watching a talk this morning by Merrill Bateman called "A Faith That Strengthens and Preserves". I have a few rather long quotes I'd like to share. You can find the whole talk here: http://www.byub.org/talks/Talk.aspx?id=824

"Faith is both a principle and a process. It defines the path by which we build a relationship of trust with the Savior. In order for faith to develop, we must begin with a humble heart and contrite spirit, have a strong desire to know the Lord, and then be obedient to gospel principles. In return the Savior rewards the obedient with spiritual confirmations of their actions. As faith grows, our vision of eternity expands, which increases our capacity to meet life's challenges. As we become more familiar with the Lord's plan of happiness, we understand that trials and adversity occur for many reasons and are a part of the testing and growth process."

"Some events cause heartache and pain. If our faith in the Lord is weak, the probability is high that we will not learn the lessons intended. Elder Richard G. Scott spoke about the relationship between faith and adversity in the October 1995 general conference. He suggested that when adversity strikes, there is natural tendency to feel sorry for ourselves and to waste energy wondering why such adversity came upon us. In contrast, if our faith in the Lord and his plan is strong, we will accept the adversity and try to learn from it. This opens the door for the Holy Spirit to work within us, increasing our faith and bestowing upon us divine gifts. Elder Scott further stated: 'This life is an experience in profound trust--trust in Jesus Christ, trust in His teachings, trust in our capacity as led by the Holy Spirit to obey those teachings...To produce fruit, your trust in the Lord must be more powerful and enduring than your confidence in your own personal feelings and experience..' As our faith int he Lord grows, we can put aside our own desires and feelings and submit to the Lord's will."

I hope I am learning the lessons I need to learn from the experiences the Lord is giving me. I feel I didn't learn very well raising my older children. I was so overwhelmed and we didn't really have any support in the sense that there wasn't anyone we knew that really understood what raising our children was like. Attachment issues were not well understood back then and nobody really had an idea how to approach the issues we were dealing with. I have learned a lot since. I have learned to forgive myself. I did the best I could with what I knew at the time. I feel bad about what all my children had to live through back then--all the times I wasn't there for each of them. I just trust that the atonement will make up for all of that some day. I hope my children forgive my lack of ability back then--my lack of ability now as I get overwhelmed again with a new set of challenges. And I pray for the inspiration I need every day so my children know I love them and I am trying.

Back to work

2011-03-13T12:21:00.003-06:00

I have a real job, one that is regular. Loan closings have slowed down so much that the income from that is almost non-existant. I got a job working as a court liaison for a clinical services company. Yep, it's kind of boring, but you do have to pay attention, so if the judge says your company is next, you know what the person needs--classes, evaluation, treatment, etc. Then you go out, get the referral paperwork done and go back in the court room. It's only a few hours a day, but it's allowing me to get all three little kids into Montessori, where Caleb has been for the last 3 years. And we got new furniture for the front room and game room!

Caleb has done so well there and has learned so much, I didn't think it was fair to the girls that they weren't. Rachel was starting to make up a little bit of her lost ground this year, but Caleb (2 years behind her in grade) was ahead of her in reading and spelling. Maybe she will catch up now. I wish the public schools used Spaulding for spelling and reading. It's amazing. And, of course, they spend a lot of time doing it out of their day, as well. Last year, when Caleb was in kindergarten, they were diagramming sentences. I went to observe for a couple hours. Caleb actually was able to answer some of the questions of what the parts of the sentence were and what they did. It was amazing. I think I did that in 5th - 7th grade.

In the past few weeks, both of our cats have been in season. Topaz is SO vocal. I think we will only have one litter of kittens from her. I think I will strangle her sweet little neck if she keeps waking me up all night with her calling. I did some reading...cats can go into season every 3 - 7 weeks! I'll never sleep. Dogs were much easier in that aspect!

Kevin has been gone all but 3 weekends since the beginning of January. He will be home next weekend and then gone once in April. It will be so nice to have him home! I hope we will have the tile done in the upstairs bathroom in the next little bit and have that bathroom back! Kevin is working so hard and is so tired! It would be nice to have the work done and let him rest a bit. He deserves it! I'm lucky to have such a great husband.

It's humbling to think of all the great blessings we have been given. Even though life is really tough with some of the kids, and there are always challenges along the way, I have a great life. I have been blessed with a husband that loves, cherishes and adores me for some strange reason. And I feel the same way about him. We have great children and wonderful son-in-laws.--and of course, the cutest granddaughters in the world! We have been blessed with the ability to beautify our home--both financially and with skills the Lord has blessed us to learn. We have been blessed with forgiveness for all the mistakes we made as young parents over our heads with issues we didn't understand. We have been blessed with some great therapists for our youngest kids. We have been blessed with temple ordinances that seal our family together--with Ammon and my dad and grandparents up there rooting us on. We have been blessed that with all Caleb's emotional issues, nobody has been seriously hurt (knock on wood). There is still a lot of healing to happen with all of us, but through the atonement, we will heal and be filled with eternal joy.

Now, if I can just survive church today...

Happy Birthday to Ammon!

2011-02-11T11:16:00.000-07:00

Ammon's birthday was February 5th. He would have been 12. He would have been ordained a Deacon and started passing the sacrament. I handled it better than I did last year. Last year Kevin was deployed and I didn't do the math right and thought he was 12. I freaked out and fell apart a bit. I did much better this year. We bought The Sorcerer's Apprentice DVD and had ice cream sandwiches and cupcakes. We miss you Ammon!

Busy days!

2011-02-11T11:14:00.000-07:00

Life has been a bit crazy around her lately...me in school (ok, I'm only taking ONE class this quarter and get it done in one day...but, it's still taking up time!), the kids' school, kids sick, hubby sick, kids, sick, me sick, grandkids sick, Devon expecting and having some health issues, I started Peer Parenting, loan closings have picking up a TINY bit, errands, ETC. Some days I leave when I drop Caleb off to school and don't get done till I pick him up. And I don't even have a full time job! Speaking of jobs, I am looking for one. One I can work from 10-12:30 3 days a week, M-W. Or even 10-3 three days a week. That will determine whether Bekkah is in school from 9-1 or 9-3:30 at Montessori with Caleb. I hope to have her start next month. She is being a bit resistent to homeschooling. It was great for a week, but now she says she's bored, just like in public school, and getting her to do her school work is a bit challenging. She will do much better at Montessori.

Kevin has been busy, busy. Being a commander is a very time-intensive job. It takes time from home and work. I wish it were a full-time job. There's enough work to do for it to be a full-time job! He was gone 4 of 5 weekends in January and this weekend...and another weekend this month and two next month. It has definitely slowed down the remodeling projects at home! We just need to get the upstairs bathroom tiled, plugs raised, mirrors and lights done and toe kicks done...and the skin on the vanity in the main bath...oh, and the toe kicks in the basement bathroom. Oh, and we need to tile the little toilet room in my bathroom, SOON. You know, just a little bit of work :).

Caleb's meds seem to finally be kicking in and things have gotten a little better. We had about a month of raging, anger and hysterics. So glad to get past that...again. I'm sure we will continue this cycle his whole life. I just hope he gets more stable than not over the years.

We tried a new restaurant last night---It was GREAT! Terra Mia in Orem by Deseret Book--across from University Mall. It was REALLY good and reasonably priced! We will be back there! Go check it out!

And last, but not least, Caleb needs glasses! That is going to be an interesting experience with a 7 yo with bi-polar, ODD, OCD, ADHD, now, won't it!

It's a new year!

2011-01-07T09:51:00.000-07:00

It's a new year and things are already very busy. It was nice to take a break over the holidays...unfortunately, most of us spent it not feeling well, but we took it easy and rested! Kevin got our tile done in the mud room and bathroom. We need to still put the skin on the bathroom vanity and the toe kicks on all the bathroom vanities. We need to touch up some paint and paint a couple doors in the basement. We still have a couple baseboards to put in the kitchen and that will be done! It will be so nice to be able to completely cross off several "almost" done projects! Then finish the bathroom upstairs--new mirrors and lights and tile. The only things we will have left are my room and bathroom and the laundry room---and painting Jared's and Rachel's rooms (sorry guys, not high on the priority list!). We got new windows and my roof is almost re-shingled! Dang weather--not helping in that area!

I've recommited myself to exercise this year. I've walked twice this week and plan on walking today!

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-19T19:09:00.000-07:00

This year has passed incredibly fast! Even when Kevin was gone, the Lord blessed me (the rest of the family???) that it went quickly. We are still plugging along on the remainder of our remodeling projects--including getting our roof reshingled (this week) and new windows next week. We still have tile to do and some painting. It will be nice to have it all done.

We went on an Army family retreat a week ago. We went to Wisconsin to Kalihari. It was amazing. We were supposed to fly out last Sunday afternoon, but Minneapolis got 17" of snow and the airport shut down. We ended up flying out at 5:30 am on Tuesday. It was a very long 2 extra days!

Other than lots of crisis management, things are good. I love the Christmas season. I love the music (most of it), the colors, the smells, the good German food on Christmas Eve, and being with family. We have been richly blessed as a family.

Merry Christmas!

Time Flies!

2010-10-14T08:48:00.001-06:00

If you are having problems seeing the picture slide shows, you probably need to register for an account at flickr and become my friend there. Worth the time, I think!

So, where has 2010 gone? I can't believe it's almost over! Kevin has been home for over 2 months, he's been back to work for 2 weeks. That has been an adjustment! He took and picked up Caleb from school for 6 weeks. Every time I pick him up, he still asks me where Dad is.

We decided we didn't have time to train our sweet, adorable puppy, so we sold him. Now we are dog free. It's been wonderful, but I miss him. Caleb misses him. Bekkah (and just about everyone else) is happy there isn't any more accidents to clean up. Truthfully, it's not the puppy's fault. We haven't had/taken the time to really potty train him. I hope his new owners are a good at it as the new owners for his daddy were. The cats are much easier. Ashlyn rescued a little kitty about a month ago. We thought we found a home for her, but they changed their mind, as she was still pretty skiddish. We decided to keep her. She is a fireball. She rarely does anything but run. And she is FAST. The older cats finally accepted her and they are getting along fine. What a change from 3 dogs to 3 cats.

I'm excited for Christmas. I haven't done as well as Devon in my Christmas shopping. I tried, but just not quite done yet...but I am very close! It will be really nice to have Kevin home for Christmas!

We are almost done with the bathroom downstairs. We still need to tile the floor in the part where the tub and toilet are, finish the mud around the sink and put the molding around the new door. Then there's painting the mudded area, the doors and molding. It will be done soon! Everything always takes so much longer than you think it will. I have been painting the basement in sections. Hopefully this weekend I will have half of it done. Then my room! We are getting ready to tile the mud room and main bathroom, then the upstairs bathroom, then those areas will be done. It's looking nice. I will post the completed before and after pictures when it's done.

Catch up...pant, pant

2010-09-25T19:12:00.000-06:00

What a long, but fast moving 6 weeks or so since Kevin got back! We have barely had time to catch our breath! We went to Vegas a couple weeks after Kevin got back, bought a camping trailer and went to Topaz Mountain, worked, worked, worked on the house--Kevin finished our mud room--except for the tile. It looks GREAT! He has been working on the basement bathroom which also looks GREAT! And he has been working on the garage and garden. He put in a new garage door opener, cleaned it up, has been organizing, etc. He has replaced more plugs and light switches and a few lights. He started working on the pan area for the basement washer and dryer so we can get that tiled this week.

Today I painted the rest of the bathroom downstairs so we can tile. Have I ever mentioned that I HATE painting? I keep thinking it won't be so bad, but it is always as bad as the last time. If I just had to roll the walls, I would be fine. I hate taping, cutting in and touching up. It is finally done. I had to paint the ceiling and the area where the washer and dryer goes...Chantell couldn't paint it when she did the rest because the washer and dryer were there and nobody wanted to move them. But it's ready for tile and will look great when it's done! I hope we can get the basement bathroom completed and the mud room/main bathroom tile done and have those rooms completed, as well, before Kevin goes back to work next month. We only have a week. Praying for a miracle! There's a lot else to do, so weekends in October will be full!

We took the four youngest kids to Denver with us to a Yellow Ribbon Event for the military. It was a pretty good event, as Yellow Ribbon goes, and the kids had fun going on an airplane and going to the activities they had for them. I guess I should clarify--Rachel didn't like the plane rides and Ashlyn wasn't too excited about the activities. Everything else was fine.

One of my dear friends lost her son to CF this month. It was so sad for her and her family, and brought back a lot of flashbacks for me for a couple days. I wish I had had the time to just fall apart and cry for a couple days. No such luxury.

I finished my first quarter back to school. The last week was horrible...a service learning project doing a preparedness fair, got the flu, and hadn't studied as much as I should have during the quarter, so I was really nervous about my legal terminology final, but I think I did okay...I at least think I passed. Of course, it froze as I was going back to catch a couple questions I skipped and the teacher had to reset the test and I had to start all over again. UUGGHHH. Why am I going to school again?

I love getting to spend nearly all my time with Kevin. I have been greatly blessed to have him as my best friend and eternal companion! He is wonderful and I enjoy the time we have together. I don't look forward to him going back to work! I guess there are a lot of people that would be jumping for joy to have their husband not be home all day with them. Not me. It has had it's challenges and my schedule hasn't quite gone like it would have, but I loved the time with him! Returning from deployment is the hardest part of the whole thing. It has been hard, maybe harder than last time, but I am so glad to have him home!

Hanging On

2010-07-31T08:59:00.000-06:00

Kevin will be home in a week. Yesterday I thought he may be home today, but, well, it is the Army. One piece of paper wasn't filled out and submitted a couple months ago and we need to wait until that is done before he can come home. That is ALL we are waiting for--well that and the subsequent paperwork that paper generates to complete what needs to be done--and he probably won't be home until next Thursday or Friday. ONE piece of paper...He is stuck in El Paso, Texas. Sorry, no offense to anyone that lives there, but there really isn't much to do. Kevin is going to try to go to Carlsbad Caverns. He discovered he can drive there in a couple hours or so. We went there when Devon was a baby...about as old as her baby is now. So it has been a long time. He will enjoy it a little more without carrying a baby.

I haven't been sleeping well at all lately. Last night I kept waking up thinking my ceiling fan was going to catch on fire. So I wrestled all night with wondering if it was my fears or a prompting. No fire...yet any way. The fans and bathroom lights are the only lights in the house we haven't replaced since we moved in...and they were sprayed with the neutralizing agent for the meth before we moved in, so the wiring is a little scary---wondering how much it has corroded. We really need to find the money to replace that---along with the roof and windows. Just money.

Kevin is going to be the new commander for a unit (?) in Washington State. He will be going up there one weekend a month for drill. Hello sky miles...and no money from drill. But, he needs a command to be promoted in a few years and he would really like to make Colonel before he retires. Congratulations, Kevin!

I'm ready for summer to be over--the heat and the kids back to school. We need to implement "jobs for boredom". Whenever someone whines about being bored, they should scrub my dirty floor or clean the bathroom's puppy poop.

One more week and the puppies will go to their new homes! Yippee! It's been fun, but I will be more than glad to have it over with. I hope Tess is going to her new home today. There is a family coming to see her that seems really wonderful. The closer it gets, the more I know I will miss her. She is a sweet dog. Prayer works. I prayed and prayed that the perfect family would find her. I hope it happens today. I hope they love and care for her and she will be wonderfully happy there.

puppy update

2010-07-05T01:31:00.000-06:00

The puppies will be 3 weeks old tomorrow (Monday). They have been doing okay. Tess is NOT the model mommy dog. She is far more interested in her own comforts than the puppies. She wants to be petted, loved and eat. Since they have been growing and fall within the normal developmental stages, I haven't worried too much about them (well, that's not exactly true--I've worried a lot, but decided they were probably doing okay). Then about 3 days ago I was gone all day and didn't get to check in on them for more than a few minutes once, just before I went to bed. Things have gone down hill since then. First, the puppy we are keeping is very pigeon-toed on the back and really struggling to move around. I took him to the vet and she said it seemed like the bones and joints were okay, just to help him use his legs and hold his weight on them. I also have never seen Tess stimulate them to poop and they are SO fat. The vet said to stimulate them 3 times a day. I have done that since Friday and haven't been successful once. It's a struggle to get Tess to feed them and they go from nipple to nipple, so I think they aren't getting much. I wasn't sure if they were constipated or not eating enough. Yesterday I started trying to give them some water from a dropper or a bottle. They took to the dropper better. The one I was most concerned about took to the water great. They also are getting their teeth, so today Chantell and I gave them some food. Chakotay (the one we are keeping) pigged out big time. The other two did ok. Toby isn't doing so hot. When we try to get him to take water, most of it runs out of his mouth. He also didn't eat very much and has started to be more lethargic.

Chantell and I spent about 3 hours tonight feeding, bathing and trying to get them to poop. By midnight or so, we finally got all of them to poop and eat fairly good. We tried to get Tess to feed them in the family room. That was 2 people holding her down and one managing puppies to make sure they stayed latched on while Tess moved around. I think she was freaked out about feeding them in there, or there was too much distraction. Later, when we put them to bed in the bathroom, we were able to get her to stay put and feed them better. They still acted like they were starving. Toby was the last one we finally got to poop. They didn't seem constipated, so they must just not be getting enough to eat. I guess we need to worry about this for another couple weeks or so until they are walking, eating on their own pretty good and drinking from a bowl. Tess should be weening them in a week or two any way. I don't think she has a lot of milk any more. It will be a fun couple weeks. If I have to start stimulating them to poop, I am going to do it on the UGODOG indoor potty so HOPEFULLY they will get the idea of where they are supposed to go. I thought they would be walking by now (Snickers kind of is), but they are so pudgy and probably not eating well enough and pooping well enough. I hope they are walking good within the next 5 days or so.

They will be listed on KSL tomorrow, if anyone is interested!

Father's Day

2010-06-20T10:36:00.000-06:00

Another Father's Day...without Kevin or my father. Not a fun day. At least Kevin and I can talk. I really miss my dad. He was a kind man. He always had good advice and was easy to talk to. He loved his family and his God very much. He chose to stick around a couple extra years to spend with his family, even though he didn't feel well any of that 2 years. He loved *old* country music and we often heard a "yeehaw" in the middle of a song! He loved the outdoors and said he was born in the wrong century. He should have been a cowboy. I am grateful for his influence in my life.

I am grateful for Kevin. He is my best friend. He is smart and cherishes and adores me more than I deserve. He is deeply patriotic and loves our country and the good it stands for. He is willing to sacrifice to defend it and protect our family and all those here. He honors his priesthood and is alway available (well, ok, when he's here) to give a blessing. He cares deeply for his family and sacrifices a lot for them. He is smart and has the talent of seeing the big picture and, I believe, is a person the military needs. He has a great deal to offer to the safety and protection of our country. It's hard to have him gone, but he is needed.

Enjoy the before and after pictures of our house. They aren't complete, but it's cool to see the differences.

Happy Father's Day!

New puppies

2010-06-18T11:28:00.000-06:00

It's been a crazy week. Tess woke me up around 4:30 am on Monday morning whining. I thought she was up early to go to the bathroom, but she was a day overdue...so maybe...and she was in labor. She labored for about 8 hours with nothing, then stopped. About 7 pm she started back up. She delivered puppy #4 about 1:30 am. Unfortunately, she took way too long to push him out and he didn't make it. She had 4 boys that all look alot like Jak, the daddy. Nobody looks like her. We were really hoping for a little girl to keep, so we have been mulling around if we will keep one or not. The spirit whispers yes. I don't know why, but I am not a male pet person. I guess Heavenly Father is teaching me. We don't know for sure which one we will keep. We will watch them and see their personalities and figure out which one is 'ours' before we list the other two for sale...in case you are interested, they are $400. Cute little pocket beagles.

Ammon's angel day was June 10th. It came and went in the confusion of summer. It is always a surprise to me how I handle that day. One year it is an easy day, another a devastating day. This year, since we didn't get to the grave on the day, it's kind of been building up. Last night was the breaking point...the last lie of one of the little kids. We read one verse of scripture, said prayers, got meds, sent them off to bed and I left. As I sat and cried at the cemetary (BTW, don't go at 9-ish at night-they are watering.), I realized it was so much more than just Ammon's angel day...children issues in various forms, Kevin being gone, financial stresses, the unknown, trying to get the kids to help clean the house, puppies (Tess is not the ideal doggy mommy), cleaning up the doggy bathroom, lack of respect from the kids....etc.

So, that's my new thing...I don't want to yell and scream and demand respect. But being a nice mommy isn't doing, so I am missing something. I try to respect them and their choices and wishes, etc., within reason--at least respect their feelings about what they want, even if they can't have it. But respect is not forthcoming. So...I need some inspiration in that area. I also have no idea how to handle some kid issues. I need some inspiration in that area, too. So I guess I need to live closer to the spirit, get more sleep, eat better, and have more fun with my children. They make that very difficult. It is NOT fun to be with fighting kids. I hate contention. It seems like every time I get 2 or 3 kids together, all they do is bicker, tease and argue. I'd love to send them to their rooms for the summer. Since that won't work, we need a miracle.

Ammon

2010-06-10T20:34:00.000-06:00

Ammon was a very sweet little boy! We miss him terribly. We are so grateful and blessed to have had him in our lives for 2 1/2 years. He loved to pitch pennies across the kitchen floor--and the cars. We found a whole bunch of both under the stove when we moved! Every penny we find on the ground is an "Ammon penny" and we think of him...and always pick it up! He loved to have fun. He loved to spend time with his big brothers and sisters. He was very spoiled by them! We miss his fuzzy hair. His smile. His, "I lu loo" (I love you). I look forward to being with you again and enjoying a wonderful hug. 5 years probably feels like a few seconds to you, but it's been a long time for me. I'm so glad we have the gospel, that Heavenly Father has a plan!

I love you!

Mom

Kevin is stateside!

2010-05-17T09:13:00.000-06:00

Yeah!!! Kevin is back stateside. Unfortunately, things didn't work out for him to come home before starting a school today. But we are able to talk more often and have better quality connections! He is doing fine...very tired. I will be flying out to spend the weekend with him! We are so grateful Heavenly Father got things done and Kevin's unit is back home. My guess is that we are going to have more and more things like the volcano in Iceland to complicate our lives and remind us that the Savior is coming soon...not soon enough, some days. I am very grateful for the sacrifices of the soldiers and their families. I am grateful for freedom, for electricity, running water, hot water, cars, a refrigerator and stove, for a prophet, the priesthood in my life, the temple and all the blessings associated with it, for a wonderful husband that honors his preisthood and blesses his family. I'm grateful for great kids!

Michael left for Missouri last night to go do summer sales. He needs lots of prayers. As of this morning, he's still in Wyoming. He stopped and slept last night. He still has a long ways to go. I pray his car will run well, he will be safe and sound, not get too tired, and do a great job in Missouri and make enough money that having him gone is worthwhile. I already miss him very much. I guess my prayers will be going into overdrive the next few months. I also hope he finds he needs a little more help from Heavenly Father and is willing to ask for it while he is there. I think this is going to be hard for him. I pray he will not get too discouraged, but keep working hard and do well! And I pray he will find a good job when he gets back. I'm a bit nervous about him driving alone and being gone so far away doing a hard job. I just have no choice but to put him in the Lord's hands and let Him do the guiding, tutoring, and protecting--I like to fool myself into thinking I do some of that when he's home :).

We have decided to sell our house in Cedar Hills, if anyone is interested or knows anyone that is interested in living in a great Cedar Hills neighborhood.

OOHHHH....

2010-04-30T11:30:00.001-06:00

Michael is 18 today. Unbelievable that 18 years ago right now, I was in labor...had been for a long time. Emergency C-section around 5 something pm. Time has dimmed that memory a little bit. I have never been more tired than I was just before that c-section. He is a great kid, errrr, uh, adult. I am proud of the progress he has made in the past year.

We are down to days before Kevin returns home--if but only for a few days. Then he will be off to some military schools to enable him to get promoted and hopefully get a position as commander somewhere. It will be hard to have him gone until the end of July, but hopefully the pay-off will be good in the end with some good retirement and his promotion to colonel in the future. It will be so nice to hold his hand.

I hope this weekend we will have running water in all our bathrooms! All the vanities will be in and working and the crown molding, kickplates, doors, etc., will all be done. We will just have some flooring to do when Kevin gets home, and a little electrical work and then we can rest for a bit and enjoy it.

If I can get my house CLEAN, I will finish taking the AFTER pictures for my before and after slideshow and then I can post that. Chantell will be done with the bathroom in the basement soon, and I need to hang the mirror in the main bath today. We will finish painting behind the toilet when we do the tile in there, and the new baseboards. I should be able to park in my garage again after this weekend.

This weekend we are adding a kitty to our family, a little ragdoll kitten named Kit. She is very cute. Ashlyn is very excited. She has had to wait a month since her birthday to get her. (see the picture to the right)

I am daily trying to work on applying the principles I learned at the Beyond Consequences seminar last weekend. It's hard to put aside old habits, beliefs, and mindsets. Retraining yourself to respond and not react and not allow yourself to be triggered by the kids' actions, etc. Lots to learn and become.

Just Breathe....

2010-04-25T13:26:00.000-06:00

I can't believe it's been almost 2 weeks since I last wrote. I can't say a whole ton has been done on the house since then. We started the crown molding and got the vanity installed in the upstairs bathroom--which entailed waiting a week for a plumber to come move the drain pipes so we could install the vanity that was configured just a little bit differently than the last one. It's taller than the last one, too, and the countertop is about 1/8" above the bottom of the mirror. It's a BIG mirror and we are waiting for Kevin to come home and use his wonderful expertise and cut the mirror so we can glue down the countertop and install the backsplash--oh, and to move the plugs up so we can install the sidesplashes. He's so handy!! :)

It will be incredibly nice to have water back in the bathroom!

Michael mowed the lawn yesterday and it looks much better---and we finally got the old kitchen cabinets off the lawn--which I'm sure our neighbors are very grateful for. Our garden is growing. Bekkah says it's been 'ranging' (raining) a lot.

I'm still feeling a bit unsettled and have tools to put away, crown molding and toe kicks to get done so the compressor can move out of my living room...but I'm TIRED and I'm having a hard time getting motivated to do it. I've decided to get it done a couple times, but get started and need one of the boys to use the table saw and cut the crown molding and toe kicks, and they aren't around when I'm motivated! But, I would really like it done. I'm compensating by doing little OCD stuff, like organizing the chaotic box of crayons by color during stake conference-- and making sure the kids put them back in their little section when they are done using it.

I went to a Beyond Consequences seminar yesterday. It was good. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the concepts challenging my behavior modification understanding that seems to be deeply entrenched in my head--even though it's not exactly working. We definitely need to do something different. I need to re-read the book again...and again, and read the one I just bought, and I got the DVD for Kevin and I to watch when he gets home. Who knows, maybe by the time my kids are raised, I might figure it out well enough to use it...on who, I don't know yet. I hope it doesn't take that long, it would be nice to see some improvement before the end of the year. www.beyondconsequences.com.

Slowing Down

2010-04-13T17:11:00.000-06:00

It's been kind of nice to relax a bit! I'm enjoying our house! Soccer is in full swing, so things are a bit busy with kids. We are working out schools for next year! I'm trying really hard to follow the diet. I did good until the day before Easter--when I fell off the diet wagon and I've struggled to get back on since, but it's coming off slowly. I would love to have MORE off before Kevin gets home!

I'm still debating on school--IF I get a Pell Grant, IF I get some Army Spouse money, I may go back. I really don't want to get a loan I will need to pay back if I decide to work part time or not at all for a little while. And do I really want to be a Paralegal? Social Worker, maybe? (I'd love to be able to do neurofeedback therapy), or maybe a Doula???? I don't know for sure what I want to do. When I worked for an attorney a few years back, I enjoyed what I did. I think I would enjoy the work for the most part. Do I want to work? Will I be too busy with kids to do my homework?

Decisions, Decisions. I hate decisions.

I'm reading "Beyond Consequences, Logic and Control" and I am trying to wrap my head around a different way of thinking and interpretting my children's behavior. Fear-Based...Some of it just doesn't make sense. If I am getting angry because the kids don't let the dog out and she pees on the floor and I have to clean it up and it ruins my carpet, I don't know what my fear is behind my anger...

Lots to learn--and going to the seminar on the 24th.

Ashlyn is excited about seeing a new kitty on Saturday morning. They only have one female and it's first come, first serve...

Why don't projects ever come in under the budget you plan? Ours is WAY over...but it grew a little- and included the bathrooms and the backsplash, and the closet...

Still lots to do!

So close!

2010-04-10T09:56:00.000-06:00

We are so close to actually being finished! There are some trim things we need to do and paint the basement bathroom and finish painting the main bathroom. We have the vanities, countertops and sinks for the basement bathroom and the upstairs hall bathroom to put in. We need to do the crown molding and the toe kicks in the kitchen and bathrooms, fill in the nail holes and caulk the baseboards in the kitchen and front room. And CLEAN! I only have a handful of pictures that need to be hung up--in our tall entry. If I can ever get the kitchen clean again, I will take some pictures there, but I'm making a new slideshow of what we have done. When the kitchen is clean :) I will be doing a slideshow with before and after pictures...I guess I'd better wait until the bathrooms are done, though. We are all breathing a little easier around here and took it too easy this week with spring break. We have been a bit lazy. We have discovered that our sink is so big that if it is full, there are enough dishes to fill the dishwasher! Michael, Todd and Jared have done a great job!

Cabinets done!

2010-04-01T10:25:00.000-06:00

The cabinets are done and filled! Yeah! I almost have my table back. The countertops are being installed this afternoon...I hope the sink and faucet will be, too. We could sure use some water in the kitchen.

We just have a little bit of touch up to do in the formal dining/game room. I think the floor will be done today in there. If not, it will be tomorrow. Todd will be back on Friday to finish up some oddds and ends--the trim, crown molding and toe kicks on the cabinets and the baseboards. I hope the closet door will be in. If Chantell can have the basement bathroom painted, he can install that door, too. By Saturday I hope we are moving all the furniture back to it's home and we can relax a little bit.

Happy Birthday Ashlyn!!!

Hopes for today

2010-03-29T08:12:00.000-06:00

Today is going to be a busy day--Michael has 3 appointments, I have to get kids to school and home and I hope our cabinets are going to be done---which I don't know if that will happen until tomorrow with Michael's 3 appointments. One of his appointments is a job interview--keep your fingers crossed!

In all reality, tomorrow will probably be the big day at the house--cabinets done, floor in the kitchen finished, toekicks up, crown molding?. And hopefully the formal dining painting done. Only 3 or 4 more days until I have countertop and a sink. Yeah!!! It hasn't been as horrible as I expected, but we aren't exactly eating 100% nutritiously. And it's expensive to eat like this! Easter will be great in the new kitchen!

A day

2010-03-25T22:56:00.004-06:00

A lady on one of the blogs I follow started doing a "typical day" post. My "typical day" has been busy lately---but here it is:

Monday: Jared to school before 7:30, make sure Ashlyn is up before we leave (I get to take him fairly often--he either can't find his bus pass and is too late to walk or woke up late); Wake up little kids at 8:00. Check email, make sure kids are getting ready. Take Caleb to school at 9:00--haha. Usually by 9:30, even though school starts at 9:15. He is almost always late--truthfully, sometimes it's my fault. It seems like about half the days recently someone has an appointment around 10. I work on the house, read, spend time on the computer, etc., if I don't have anywhere to go. Bekkah goes to school between noon and 12:30. Then I come home and talk with Kevin on Skype or sometimes I have an appointment I couldn't schedule any other time. About 1/3 of the days. Sometimes Kevin and I talk until I need to leave around 3:10 to pick kids up from school. Pick up Jared, Bekkah and Caleb, not always in that order. Busy doing various things until dinner/ bedtime. Starting this week, Caleb and Bekkah have soccer practice at 4 pm. Jared has lacrosse from 4-6:30. When he has his bus pass, he takes the bus there, but the buses stop running before he is done, so I get to pick him up. We TRY to have scriptures and prayers around 8:00 and attempt to put kids to bed by 8:30. By the time I finally have them in bed to stay and to sleep, it's after 10. I've tried starting earlier to put them to bed, but failed miserably. Then I play on the computer, watch TV for a while, then go to bed around 11 pm - 1 am.

Tuesday: Same as Monday, except Caleb has therapy--one week from 10- 12 and the next week from 11-12. Jared has lacrosse from 4-6:30. Rachel is the one with soccer practice today at 6:30. The older kids have mutual at 7.

Wednesday: Same as Monday, except I have counseling at 10. It seems like I always have an appointment of some kind on Wednesdays. Jared has lacrosse from 4-6:30. Starting this week, Rachel has a soccer game at 6:30 on Wednesday and the next week Bekkah starts her games at 4 pm.

Thursday: Same as Monday, except Ashlyn has piano at 3 pm. Jared has lacrosse from 4-6:30. Caleb starts soccer games this Thursday at 6:30.

Friday: Bekkah doesn't have school, but she has therapy at 11:00. Jared is done at noon. Jared has lacrosse from 4-6:30. Rachel has piano at 5.

Saturday: Starting next week, we have games at 1:30, 3:00 and 4:30. That all ends the middle of May.

This week everyone was home sick on Monday.

On Tuesday Ashlyn had a dentist appointment and Michael had a doctor appointment and we went to Ft. Douglas to do some stuff I've put off for a long time. I went to the Caucus that night.

On Wednesday, Michael went to the dentist. Today, I took Rachel, Caleb and Bekkah to the dentist. They all had appointments a week or two ago and had to have fillings--except Michael who has a cracked tooth and needs a crown. I cut in the paint in Bekkah's room that I haven't gotten around to in months, and painted the front of her drawers on her dresser.

Today I had a class on square foot gardening at Thanksgiving Point that I missed most of because I got excited about putting stuff in my new base cupboards and lost track of time. And I just realized that I was supposed to run Jared into the doctor for an A1C blood test before 4...Don't know how to fit it in next week M-F from 8:30-11 am--he can't afford to miss any more school.

Tomorrow I have dinner group. I hope we can get most of the kitchen floor laid. I REALLY, REALLY want to go see Blindside one of these days. It's at the dollar theater now. I'd like to go before I miss it.

I didn't make it visiting teaching yet this month, so I need to fit that in before Thursday, sometime.

Next week Michael has a doctor appointment, a dental appointment and a job interview(the same day), Bekkah has a vision appointment, it's the ward RS birthday party, I have a diffuser thing with Young Living on Thursday night (Ashlyn's birthday), Ashlyn has her birthday party on Friday, my countertops will be installed--I think that's about it so far. And my cabinets will be done, the kitchen floor done, and the floor, painting and baseboards done in the game room and the baseboards done everywhere else. We will still need to install the 2 bathroom vanities and sinks and faucets, hang 2 doors, paint the basement bathroom and finish up the main bathroom. I have a few more things for Todd to do...We'll see how that goes in the next couple weeks.

Tired yet? I am. :)

Living with bi-polar

2010-03-24T08:56:00.000-06:00

I thought I would write a little bit about living with bi-polar at our house...to enlighten those of you who don't know, Caleb has bi-polar--and ADHD, OCD, ODD & Sensory Integration Disorder. He is 6. Early onset bi-polar is a tempermental creature! I recently found a group online that is helpful: www.bpkids.org, for anyone interested.

Caleb started raging in 2007. I decided to start him on meds before he went to school so he could be more under control at school. That was a nightmare! He was put on meds for ADHD, which didn't have any effect, and then Depakote for the bi-polar. We went from raging 2-5 times a week, each rage maybe 5 -20 minutes, to raging 5-7 times a day, up to 2 hours a rage. He got very violent, threatened to kill everyone, etc. We got him off Depakote within a month. That was a very long month. Some nights I was up till 2 am with him screaming--both of us crying. Kevin was in Iraq during that time. Thank goodness for Janet being my rescue person! He could go to her house raging and stay a while.

His school is great. He goes to a Montessori school in Lindon. The Head Mistress would rather he came to school raging than not come that day--so he has several times, a couple times in pajamas. He is getting too big for me to carry now, so that is becoming more difficult to do. It's hard for me to get him anywhere by myself if he doesn't want to go.

After taking him off the Depakote, we went to Dr. Elmore and he put him on some natural supplements: Deproloft and Symphora. Wow, what a difference! He quit raging altogether for the most part. We still have tantrums, though, some pretty big. He doesn't talk about killing anyone very often any more. I still have the knives locked up in a toolbox--any idea how annoying and inconvenient that is? He is now off the Deproloft and just on Symphora--and magnesium and gaba. Since Kevin came home on leave in December and we started our home remodeling a little before that, his life has been disrupted and his behavior has worsened. We also sold 2 of our 3 dogs in February. That didn't help. He has had a lot of changes in his life in the past 3 months.

In October, he started Neurofeedback therapy at The Green House. When Kevin came home in December, he said that Caleb was not the same boy he left. He has calmed down a bit. All the disruptions at our house have made that therapy a bit less effective--but I don't know if I would want to be living with Caleb without it---I think it is keeping him calmer than he would be going through all these changes, than he would be without it. We have started Bekkah on it and will be starting Rachel when they have an opening. I would like everyone at our house to do it.

We have had a few rages the past month or so. But over all, he is exploding less often, is calm more often, but when he does get upset, it's more intense than it was a few months ago. But I still think it's progress.

I also found a place for respite, The Family Support and Treatment Center in Orem. They are wonderful, and close by. And I still have my lifesaver, Janet.

He needs to be with someone all the time. These kids tend to sneak, steal, lie, can be agressive (he is) and very impulsive.

Wishes: CALM. PEACE. I hope my children (and me) can learn to de-escalate and avoid escalation. It's so easy to make things escalate when he's doing something wrong. You have to learn to head-off his reactions. When he's doing something wrong, he does need to be corrected, but if you don't do it right, it escalates into a tantrum or rage...kind of like now over bread...got to go...

Floor!

2010-03-20T11:03:00.000-06:00

We have a floor in the front room! It is all done. We need to get the baseboards painted and up...(and caulked and touched up), then we are ready to put the furniture back! And, of course, we then need to bring in all the stuff from the game room (formal dining) so we can pull the carpet up, paint, do the floor and then move that back in. Makes me tired just thinking about it.

We have all the cabinets up on the fridge wall--and filled. The small pull-out drawers arrived a couple days ago, so I need to empty those two cabinets and install those. It's wonderful to have 24" deep cabinets, but without the pull-outs, you never see what is in the back. I look forward to getting those done--maybe today???

Monday or Tuesday we will be starting the tear out of the rest of the cabinets, do the floor and put the new cabinets in. Unfortunately, there is a week lag time between getting a template done for the countertops and installing them. That will be interesting! See the new slide show of the floor!

Remodeling pictures

2010-03-03T22:05:00.001-07:00

To the right are links to slideshows that show our progress. Unfortunately, they aren't in order and I couldn't figure out how to get them that way...but enjoy them anyway!

Remodeling

2010-03-03T14:24:00.001-07:00

My wonderful daughter talked me into blogging about our home remodel--mind you, we are doing this while Kevin is in Iraq. Makes life interesting! We bought our house in October 2008. It tested positive for meth and took 3 months to clean before we could close. The bank did the repairs, so they weren't done with much pride or work ethic.

We got a crappy paint job and new, inexpensive carpet.

The 3 doorways into my kitchen were all too small for my fridge to fit through, and place for the fridge was too small, so we had to widen the opening from the front room into the kitchen and remove the pantry closet to make a place big enough for the fridge. For over a year we lived with un-mudded sheetrock, an open ceiling/wall etc. In November (13 months after we moved in) we started sheetrocking and pulling the tile and subfloor up in the kitchen and entry. That took us about 3 weeks to complete that. We also shrunk the closet by the garage to make a smaller closet and room for a cubby. We are repainting, too and putting in new cabinets. I'll start with pictures before we moved in, before we started in November and where we are now.

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-28T10:43:00.000-07:00

Wow, it's been a busy month! Kevin was home for 2 weeks and it was a whirlwind of activities. We finalized our adoption of the 3 little kids on December 3rd, Kevin's birthday! Kevin and I went to dinner and a movie...at least I think we did...one of those days! Yes, it was crazy! On the 4th, Rachel was baptized. She was so excited to have her dad home to baptize her! We went back to our house for Ice cream sundaes afterwards.

The 5th was our busiest day. We had family pictures in the morning (Thanks Scott Hancock for accommodating us early!) Then we rushed off to the temple to seal the kids. It was a very COLD day. It was so wonderful to be in the temple and see the kids dressed in white. Little Bekkah is so short that she had to stand on the cushion to reach. It was so cute! We appreciate everyone that came and shared that moment with us!

Then Scott, bless his soul, came to the temple to take more pictures of Banta popcicles standing outside the temple. It's funny to look at them--you can tell we were freezing! No great smiles for that picture!

Then we went to Hale Centre Theatre's "A Christmas Carol" with the whole family. It was wonderful!

Then we went to Marley's for dinner. YUMMY! If you haven't been there, it's worth it. (off 1600 North in Orem in the Harley Davidson store)

We were tired when we went to bed that night!

On the 6th, Devon's baby, Hinckley was blessed. We went to our house afterwards for lunch. It was great to have everyone together there, too.

We were pretty lazy the next few days, recovering from the crazy weekend. Some of the kids were sick and we ended up with most of them home from school most of the week.

The rest of Kevin's leave went by so fast! On the 12th all the kids came over for a "pre-Christmas" with dad. He gave them gifts and they gave him gifts, and the kids exchanged their sibling gifts. We had our traditional German dinner, just like we have on Christmas Eve every year.

Kevin left for Iraq on the 17th and arrived there safely a couple days later. Keep him in your prayers. He will be home in about 4 1/2 months!

We are so grateful for family and friends and the gospel. We are grateful for the birth of our Savior.

Christmas was great...we went to Dede's (Pam's mom's) on Christmas Eve and had our German dinner there and exchanged some gifts. It was fun to be with family. Christmas morning was crazy, as usual, even though everyone only got 5 gifts...then we had our lazy Christmas day like we always do---watched movies, played games, etc.

Next year we are going to change things up a bit. We are going to have a "Gold, Frankensence and Myrrh Christmas--Gold is a gift of something they really want, Frankensence is something they need and Myrrh is something to enrich their soul--art, a book, music, etc. The kids don't think it's such a great idea, but I think we will do it anyway. We need to put the "getting" of Christmas in it's place and bring Christ into it better.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Book: Glory, Duty & the Gold Dome

2009-11-13T22:58:00.000-07:00

This looks like a good book---We may get it and see!

http://www.visionforum.com/booksandmedia/productdetail.aspx?productid=37522&categoryid=32

"Suspenseful! On-the-edge-of-my-seat excitement!" —Jasmine Baucham, daughter of Dr. Voddie Baucham and writer for joyfullyathome.blogspot.com
"[A] tale of father and son discipleship, which grapples with key moral issues and is packed with action and suspense."—John Horn, Ballantyne the Brave

Prologue and sample chapterWhen adversity strikes, boys must act like men. This story traces one boy’s journey as he stands beside his father to defend the life of a helpless young woman. Fourteen-year-old Thomas witnesses his father, John Richards, put his congressional race at risk to do the right thing. This high-octane adventure story digs deep, exploring important lessons related to law, civics, medical ethics, and discipleship.

When a desperate young woman with a secret falls into a coma after a car accident, Georgia State Representative John Richards puts his congressional race at risk as he and his homeschooled, fourteen-year-old son Thomas try to save not only her life but also the life of an unborn baby growing inside her womb. But will efforts to save them destroy Rep. Richards’ political campaign? Soon they find themselves embroiled in a unique legal conflict of “low-quality of life” double jeopardy: a unborn baby facing abortion inside a comatose mother facing euthanasia. As a legislative aide to his father, Thomas helps his dad navigate the legal and political challenges so that the life of this coma-stricken woman does not end as Terri Schiavo’s did. But he soon discovers more intrigue and danger surrounding this case than he bargained for.

Author T. Nathaniel DarnellThroughout the story, thorough description is given to the legislative process and parliamentary procedure on a state level so that this adventure story may serve as a helpful supplement to a family’s civics study. Includes a chart on how a bill becomes law.

Glory, Duty & the Gold Dome is book one in The Sires & Sons Adventure Series. Imagine stories where fathers eagerly disciple their sons while working together in exciting, culture- impacting missions to advance the Kingdom of the Lord Jesus Christ. Along the way, they learn lessons of leadership. Welcome to the Sires & Sons Adventure Series.

(Due to mature medical ethics-related issues, this book is recommended for ages 14 and up.)

"This book[ ]is fast paced, exciting and very informative. I read it in only a day and a half, which is something I rarely do." —Kaitlyn Coghlan of inashoe.com

Getting Excited!

2009-11-13T10:47:00.000-07:00

We are definitely counting down the days until we see Kevin again! We are in the teens! For security reasons, we can't publish WHEN we will see him but it's getting close!

Things are going slowly on the house! I hope we can have the kitchen mudded and painted before Kevin is here. I may have found some cabinets---we will at least get started with some on the wall we have been working on where we don't have any "real" cabinets...just our white utility cupboards... then they can find a new home--laundry room, play room, bedroom, garage? Who knows.

We want to get the dust and painting over with before we decorate for Christmas. I'm having a hard time waiting for our traditional "day after Thanksgiving" decorating. But I definitely don't want to have to clean everything that gets dusty while the sheetrock is finished.

We are all "kind of" sick. Hopefully, thanks to Dr. Elmore, we will be all better before Kevin is home--he doesn't need to pick up anything while he's here! Michael needs minor surgery on the Monday before Thanksgiving.

It looks like my braces will be off around February! I was hoping for December, but life never quite works that way. Scott has done a great job! I will be SO happy to be metal-free! Sorry, Kev, they won't be off for your leave!

We are trying for an Extreme Home Makeover! I have been trying to film my house for 2 months--never feel like it's clean enough or ready enough--too bad. The other problem is having someone home old enough to hold the camera for the tour of the house! I hope to have it ALL done this weekend. That is the last thing we need to do to submit our application. Wish us luck. There are still SO many things around here that we need to do. We'll never have enough money to do it all.

School Lunch Chaos

2009-11-04T17:33:00.000-07:00

Monday was Rachel's spotlight at school. When it was done, she informed me that I had to go to lunch with her. I had Caleb and Bekkah in tow---so it really didn't sound very fun...although they thought it was! I had to pay $5 for my lunch, which was EXACTLY what I paid $1.25 for each of the kids. Go figure. So that kind of ticked me off to start with. I sat next to Caleb, who sat next to Rachel. Rachel hardly acknowledged my presence there. It was incredibly noisy (duh, it is school lunch with elementary kids!), and kids were messing around next to me--some food went flying a little and 2 girls were kind of wrestling in the aisle. I was being "The Mom" and nagged the kids about eating their food. I made Rachel finish her vegetables. She picked them out--I told her not to take food if she wasn't going to eat it. The amount of food that gets thrown away at school lunch! You could feed an army!

How grateful I am for lunch at home, alone most days! The only noise is what I invite in. It was almost enough for me to pull my kids back out of school. Caleb's lunch is very quiet---in his room with just his class and the teacher reads a book to them during lunch and they aren't allowed to talk. He was kind of in culture shock. I don't know how he will handle public school lunch in 2 years. That kind of chaos tends to wind him up.

I told Rachel I would NEVER again eat lunch at school...if we have a special day, we will have to go out.

sick, sick, sick

2009-10-07T09:55:00.000-06:00

The flu has visited our house...already this year! Way too early for this stuff! 2 kids have had it. I started getting sick 2 days ago, but I'm not sure it's the flu. All three little kids are sick--dont't think that's the flu, either. For some reason, my room is the room of congregation. Everyone is here coughing and moaning and complaining. Of course, I am probably sick because they are on my bed. What fun. It would be nice if this is the flu so I will be immune to it the rest of the season. I am a huge baby when it comes to shots. Don't know if I can muster up the courage to get shots, so I will probably chicken out. Ashlyn has decided that when she's better, she's getting the shots.

We have gone through a half bottle of theives and my diffuser is working overtime. I hope the rest of the winter isn't like this. Lots of missed school and way too much TV.

Wish Kevin was home to give us all blessings!

Safe and Sound

2009-10-02T08:24:00.000-06:00

Kevin is safe and sound at his new destination. He is trying to get unpacked and settled. I am so grateful for modern technology. We get to talk nearly daily with Skype...beats when he went to Saudi way back in 1991 and we spend $1000 a month talking once a week for a half hour. We can talk as long as he can stay awake and still get up to go to work in the morning! It's wonderful the kids can see him and talk to him over the internet. God has truly blessed us. It makes deployment easier.

Devon and Hinckley are doing fine. All the stuff with adjusting to a new baby. Newborns are HARD! and wonderful! Hinckley is cute and sweet--just like the other 2 granddaughters!

Jared has had the flu already. I hope it's the last of the year, but as it's only just starting...

Soccer is done on Wednesday! They had a blast, it was fun, but I am glad it's over. 9 extra things to schedule into my week has been a bit challenging.

I am almost done Christmas shopping!

Anyway--that's the update today. Have a great day!

Long, emotional month

2009-09-13T16:27:00.000-06:00

It's been a while since I posted--maybe one reason we don't have many followers---nothing to follow!

In the past month, the kids started school and Kevin came home for 2 4-day passes, which is a bit deceiving, as he is really only home about 3 days with travel. It was WONDERFUL to see him. The first pass, we took the kids at home swimming and then that evening, the whole family (minus 2 boys) went bowling. That was fun. I forgot my camera, but Chantell had hers...I still need to download those. We took the kids to see G-Force, which they loved. On Sunday we were able to visit Michael. They let us take him off-site for 4 hours. It was wonderful to go to eat and play at the park. Michael enjoyed the kids. He is a great big brother. He seems to be doing very well. Hopefully he will be back home in February.

The second visit was more quiet. Kevin and I went out to eat (carefully--I had a bone graft on my jaw a week before)and spent time at home and shopped a little. Bekkah became a major Daddy's Girl between these two visits (just over a week apart). She would give him hugs all the time and cuddle up and watch TV. He didn't have the heart to pull away from her and get up, so we spent a lot of time watching TV. She has had a very hard time since he left and every day, till today when we won't get to talk as often or easily, she has asked him on the phone when he is coming home again. That makes it hard for all of us. She has been very sad with Daddy gone.

Devon is still pregnant. So much for having the baby early. She is due on Tuesday, but it doesn't look like it will be happening any time soon. The doctor says they will talk about things at 41 weeks. :( She is very uncomfortable and so very ready to have it done. Kevin was a bit disappointed that he wasn't able to see Hinckley before he left, but that's life. Second granddaughter he will miss the birth of. Hopefully he will be able to get leave to be at the baby blessing this time.

The little kids started soccer 2 weeks ago. It's been fun and they love it. I'm feeling very over scheduled. 6 more weeks and it's over till spring.

There are days since Kevin's been gone that I feel totally overwhelmed and at my wits' end. The kids have been acting out a lot and we are all very stressed. The noise level at home has at least doubled--and it was pretty loud before! I wish life could just stop for a week or two and we could just hybernate and slowly work back into life. Life doesn't seem to give us the luxury of doing that, ever. Just keeps marching at an unnatural pace. Time to pull myself back together and nurture my kids.

great new Give-Away!

2009-07-29T12:45:00.000-06:00

GIVE-AWAY - Lyle Hadlock's Inspiring CD, There is a Green Hill Far Away

This week, pianist and composer Lyle Hadlock (another contributor to forthcoming book, Famous Family Nights), is giving away one of his inspirational CDs - There Is A Green Hill Far Away.

http://annebradshaw.blogspot.com/

Bye, Bye Kevin

2009-07-08T15:34:00.000-06:00

I don't know why it's any surprise or why in my insane optimistic attitude I thought things would be different...

Kevin left this morning. The past 2 days since we got home from Vegas have been crazy with things that needed to be done and no where near enough time to do them all. Kevin was wonderful and got the garage to a point where Jared and I can finish it and I will be able to park in the garage :). He also got a couple security cameras up. Now I can watch Caleb in his favorite sneaking places. He took us to a movie last night. We didn't get to bed until well after midnight. He had to get up at 4:45 this morning.

The plan was that he would go and get there by 6 am and the rest of us would be there around 7:30-8:00 so we could visit and say good-bye before he got on the plane at 9:15. He kissed me good-bye, left and I went back to sleep, sort of. He called me a little before 6 am and said that they told him the wrong flight. They had three flights leaving today (chartered flights)...8, 9:30 and 3:30. He was told yesterday that his flight was 9:30. Oh, well (got to love the Army!) He was on the 8:00 flight. I told him I would hurry and get everyone up and get going right then. I woke up Ashlyn, who fell back asleep and realized I had married kids that were planning on coming. I spend about 15 minutes calling them to let them know of the change. I only got hold of Devon and she couldn't get ready in time. Kevin called me back around 6:20 and said that I needed to hurry and it was for sure at 8:00.

The kids weren't up and I couldn't get hold of any married kids, so I just left. About the time I got to the airport, I talked to him on the phone. He was on the bus coming to the airport, but didn't know if they were going to the main airport or the area I was at, so to be flexible. I waited a few more minutes. He said he was going to go to the cargo area, but it looked like they were late and the bus would be going directly to the plane and they were getting on there, not going through the airport. I wasn't going to be able to see him. I left to run an errand down town and he called back and said that a few families had just shown up and if I hurry, I might be able to see him. I got turned around and he called me back and said they were loading the plane. Sometimes life stinks. I'm so glad he woke me up for a quick kiss goodbye this morning, as that was all I got.

I was glad I didn't wake the kids up, just to have them grumpy all day because of too little sleep, just to miss saying good-bye to their dad.

Then I went to the temple to see if they had the vest and tie from the wedding that got left there. They are closed for 2 weeks for cleaning...My last ditch effort to make the trip to SLC worth it was busted. I went up to Ft. Douglas and vented for a minute with a couple of other wives. They did get to see their husbands off, but there were several other soldiers that were in the same boat as Kevin and things were messed up for their families, too. I cried and prayed my way home. I hope this year goes by as quickly as the year he was home. I pray we will all grow closer as a family while he is gone and that we do a better job communicating (the kids--Kevin and I did fine last time for the most part). I pray this will be a positive experience.

I had to buy myself some breakfast---reminding myself that if hunger isn't the problem, food isn't the answer. It still tasted good.

I wish we had had more family time before he left and that things hadn't been so rushed--again, the optimistic side of me coming out. I should know better by now. Life is never like that.

Our heroes

2009-06-29T12:17:00.000-06:00

This 4th of July has brought up all kinds of feelings this year. My husband is being deployed in a week or so and is wearing a uniform every day now. I love to see him in his uniform. I am so proud of him and the wonderful man he is and his patriotism, loyalty and love of his country and his family. I am proud of him for making the choice to serve our country and the world. I am grateful for the many soldiers, our heroes, and their families, for being willing to sacrifice their precious time to serve and protect.

I am grateful for our wonderful nation. I can't say I'm terribly happy with how things are going at the moment, but I love our country, it's freedoms and opportunities. I hope we can all stand up and fight for those freedoms and protect them from those in our government and citizenry that don't quite 'get it'. I hope we can recognize the role we can each play in protecting our rights and privileges. Get involved...even if it's just writing our representatives and sharing our views. Seek to know what is going on with our law-makers so we have an idea of what is changing and express your support or concern. I have been surprised over the last couple of years since I became more aware, that there are definitely things being proposed that I do NOT agree with. Those things are not often publicized.

Thank you, Kevin, for your example, love and support! Half of my heart is heading for Iraq. You are always in my prayers.

The wedding, the wedding...

2009-06-25T07:34:00.000-06:00

The past week or so has been a bit crazy around here. We have been getting ready for Chantell's wedding and Kevin's deployment. Still trying to figure out why things have to happen in clumps. Life would be so much easier one crisis at a time! Michael has been found and is moving on to a new experience--hopefully one that will help him work through his issues and become the wonderful young man I know he is.

Chantell made it through the temple :) and we are anticipating the beautiful ceremony tomorrow. That is, if we can survive that long! All the fun (not) errands that need to be done. Today is the last of the errands. Tomorrow is decorating and the wedding and reception. Bryce's parents missed their first flight and got on a plane in time to arrive this afternoon from South Africa. I'm sure they will be very tired tomorrow for all the festivities. Yesterday Chantell and I went to a friend's house to make some South African desserts for the reception tomorrow. They turned out great. I hope everyone enjoys the food. It took us from 9-5 to get it all done...that on top of picking up the tux, buying the ingredients.

Today I'm off--several phone calls to make. Kevin has military stuff, so he can't help set up the tables, chairs, backdrop, etc. He will just meet us at the temple tomorrow, then he has the rest of the day off. I need to pick up the rest of the desserts today and the wedding cake, the backdrop, the hemmed bridesmaid dresses and the tablecloths...the ones I forgot to call the lady and tell her the wedding moved up a week. I hope I can still borrow them! We couldn't get the church the night before, so we have to be at the church at 6 am tomorrow morning so the decorators can come in and start decorating. I still need to arrange for some help at 8 to come set up tables and chairs and the backdrop. Isn't this fun? And the bride and groom can't help, Kevin can't help, Zach won't help, my son-in-laws can't help...Poor Jared, he gets to do everything these days. Hopefully someone from church can come...hard on a Friday morning. My best friend "rescuer" is consumed with a new critically ill foster baby and isn't in a position for coming in and taking up the slack this weekend. I just hope she can make it to the wedding!

I used to be a very organized person. It seems like since Ammon's death, I can't seem to pull it all together like I used to. I feel like I am always scrambling at the last minute to remember all the things I had *almost* taken care of. My memory is shot. PTSD? Yeah, I think I have that from adopting children with attachment disorder. They don't tell you it scrambles your brain, too.

Hopefully it will be a great day...enough whining for today. I don't have time for that any more...And Chantell took me for a hair appointment so I would have a new look for the wedding...and I do. Don't know if anyone likes it yet.

Summer give-aways from Queen of the Clan

2009-05-28T09:23:00.001-06:00

Visit Queen of the Clan and win some great prizes!
www.queenoftheclan.blogspot.com

2009-05-08T15:10:00.000-06:00

Great Bridesmaid dress--and very inexpensive...their other stuff is inexpensive, too, but there isn't a huge selection. Only ONE modest dress with sleeves, but that's all I needed!
http://www.bridesonlinestore.com/

It's May!

2009-05-01T10:18:00.001-06:00

Chantell gets married in 2 months and 2 days! Lots to do, still, but very do-able.

Just joined Mormon Mommy Blogs...Fun, you should join!

I am enjoying Kevin being back... for another 9 days. He will be gone until the end of the month, then home until he leaves in July.

I am trying to get more food storage done. I bought a lot of stuff with our tax return, but need more water and some other food items. I have a lot of dried stuff in cans, but I think I need to go through and inventory it so I have an exact idea what I have. I also signed up for www.thereadyproject.com and get a bucket every month. It's good stuff, and easy to rotate. I have no idea how many months storage I have--hopefully after I inventory it, I will know. I hope I'm better off than I think.

Pam

Finally an update

2009-04-23T17:29:00.000-06:00

Who knows, maybe I am too busy (or lazy) to keep up a good blog. Things have been crazy around here. Kevin has been in Kansas for training for a couple weeks. He will be home tomorrow! Yeah!! Then he will leave again in a couple weeks...He's only going to have about 3 weeks home before he leaves for the year. I'm having a hard time getting my head around that again. So, I just push it waaayyy back there and not think about it.

Devon is starting to show and it's so cute. Alayna is walking and starting to talk. Joy is starting to scoot around. They are all so cute and fun.

Caleb is doing great at school. I love the Montessori. The way they teach is exactly what he needs to thrive!

Bekkah is pretty much potty trained...Just bought more underwear to overcome those that keep getting wet, but that is slowing down a lot.

Rachel is doing great in school. She still loves crafts and wants to start cooking and playing the piano.

Ashlyn is doing fantastic in school...straight A's! I hope she can keep that up next year in Jr. High. She is now 12 and started young women's.

Jared is doing well in school and just got back from choir tour in CA....loved it!

Chantell...getting married????????

I'm missing Kevin and can't wait until tomorrow!!! and tomorrow Devon finds out if it's a boy or girl!

The ever-changing lives of the Banta's

2009-03-13T10:19:00.000-06:00

Kevin had his promotion ceremony last Saturday. It was wonderful! I am very proud of him and what he has been able to accomplish. He has a lot to do before he leaves again, and he has a lot of extra drills and training to go to before then. So, we will see what we can get done around here before then.

Spring is coming and we want to have a yard. The dogs track in so much mud right now that I can't keep up with my kitchen floor.

We have a vacation scheduled for April---Kevin has a training, so he is going to miss part of it. And Jared has choir tour, so he will go back with Kevin and leave for that. I was "almost" in a car accident in December. My insurance company denied the claim and said based on my statement and the other driver, I was not at fault. I just got a summons a couple nights ago that the other driver is suing me!!! I have court the day before we were supposed to come back from vacation, so we all will be leaving a day and a half early so I can go to court. I'm glad I have a good insurance company. They said they will defend me on it.

I am working on getting our food storage back up. Before we moved, we didn't want to move it all, so we ate off it for a few months and it was pretty depleted. It's kind of fun, kind of frustrating, but makes me feel good that I am doing something that is important.

I'm also starting to bake more. I need to rotate my wheat, so I got a wheat grinder and we are going to be making a lot more bread and such. The kids will probably love it. I haven't been much into cooking the past few years. I'm going to convince myself that I love cooking again and do better. In some ways I still feel like I'm in a fog from Ammon's death. I have done a lot of stuff and accomplished some things, but I don't feel like me. I don't feel like I'm doing a lot of anything that is important or worthwhile. I can do better as a wife and mom and daughter, sister and friend. Life is busy, but when it's not, I just veg. That needs to change!

Getting started

2009-02-26T16:53:00.000-07:00

I guess I'm joining the ranks of bloggers....we'll see how that goes. Kevin and I have 12 children. 5 birth children and 7 adopted. We have 3 children from India, one African American son from California and 3 Hispanic/Caucasian children. They are all wonderful, beautiful and smart. We are very blessed to have them in our lives---even when they present tremendous challenges to my simple little brain.

We live in Utah and enjoy the closeness of LDS activities and atmosphere. Kevin and I were married in the Manti Temple. It was the temple we both wanted to get married in before we even knew each other---that made the decision pretty simple.

Kevin is getting ready to leave for Iraq again in July. He will have been home for one year and 5 days. He is an amazing officer and they are lucky to have him.